


'Cause I'm Sick of Losing Soulmates

by Potatoad



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Attempted Murder, Cheating, Dark fic, Dark!Tony, Desperation, F/M, M/M, Murder, Not A Very Nice Representation Of Pepper, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Psychological Trauma, Soulmates, Trying Your Best In All The Wrong Ways, light non-con, or Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 18:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potatoad/pseuds/Potatoad
Summary: Tony thought he didn't need his soulmate, after all he had Pepper. But when he catches her in bed with another man, Tony becomes determined to find his soulmate, hoping for them to fill the hole that Pepper left behind.A.K.A. The AU in which your soulmate is the only person on the planet that you can't physically harm and Tony goes a bit off the rails with it.A.K.A. My mates and I all wrote our own stories based on the prompt 'In a world where you can't physically hurt your soulmate, you become a serial killer in order to find them' cause we're all dorks and this is mine.Please pay attention to the tags.





	'Cause I'm Sick of Losing Soulmates

Tony Stark didn’t need a soulmate. He told himself this at ten, then at eighteen and again when he was twenty. When he met her, he began telling himself that every day. Pepper Potts, a genius of the modern business world, a subtle beauty and the love of his life. So what if the got a little scratched up when things got a little intense between them? It didn’t matter. The bruises were souvenirs and broken skin always healed. Trying to heal the heart she broke however was a little bit more of a complicated affair.

Seeing your fiancé fucking another man isn’t how anyone really wants to spend their Friday night. He supposed that spending every Friday previous however being lied to wasn’t exactly any better.

He threw back his bourbon. He wished it held the same burn as it did years ago. Pulling some bills from his wallet, he slid them across the bar to cover his tab as he swung his coat over his shoulders to leave. After that night he had decided to stop lying to himself. He wanted to find his soulmate, he always had. It just so happened he was a bit more eager now. He let his eyes trail over the next possibility as he retreated out of the club and into the night. This was his chance.

He wasn’t his usual type by any means, simply by the fact he was a he in the first place, but the tell tale pull of his gut was all he needed to encourage his pursuit of the boy. He’d call him a man, but the kid barely looked old enough to have been in the bar they were just in, in the first place. He was far from the play-boy bunny he usually went for but his messy brown hair held a charm that he couldn’t deny. Maybe that was his issue – maybe he has hemmed himself in with his sexuality, maybe he was doing the whole thing wrong.  
The street was much, much colder than the packed bar. The hands stuck firmly in his pockets pulled the jacket closer to his frame as he trailed after the boy, close enough to see him but far enough away that he wasn’t going to seem like a threat. The packed streets of Saturday night crowds made tailing him easy but approaching him far harder. Once things died down a little, he’d make his move.

The first time this had happened it was an accident, not in a cold and unforgiving alleyway, but rather, in the bedroom of his own home. He was so sick with rage that he had barely realised what was happening until it was all over, blood on his hands, guilt heavy in his chest. He remembers how the crimson had seeped so easily into the plush carpet below him. He remembered how the phone ringing was all that had broken him from his revere. And when the realisation that he had killed someone had settled in, well that’s when he started screaming.

They way she had called out to him still echoed around his mind sometimes. The way she had begged and pleaded with him to believe that it was an accident, how he had come on to her, how she wanted to be forgiven. He had never seen anyone look so scared. He had snapped. He was pushed to far. And when it was all over, and he had fallen to his knees, he couldn’t help but stare into her eyes. Eyes that had held such adoration now so lifeless and so empty. He remembered crying then, a lump settled deep within his throat, his screaming only coming out in shallow breathes. He began to hyperventilate as his vision blurred. All he could think was what was he going to do now?

He had reached his hand out towards her, pleading with her to come back, painting her slowly paling lips with the blood on his fingertips. He was shaking, his future wife lying dead before him.

The memories between them playing out in front of him when he closed his eyes. The night they had first kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge and how soft and inviting her lips had looked under the street lights. And their first date in that shitty diner she insisted on, just off 34th, with how delicate and sweet her hands looked wrapped around the strawberry milkshake she said was to die for. He wondered how different things would be if those sparkling eyes hadn’t enticed him enough to slip her his number, hastily scribbled on the back of that old receipt when they had bumped into each other at first. He wanted to know if he could’ve stopped all of this from happening, if he had said no to her advances and kept himself from falling in love. Would it have been better? Or maybe if he had been home more she wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.

Another sob racked through his body. She was gone. He tried to run a hand through her strawberry blonder hair one last time, only for it to become tangled and matted with red. She was really gone.

He pulled at his own hair, trying to ground himself desperately. He felt light-headed and spacey, he only wanted to return to his normal calculated self. He had to work out what to do. But everything was so covered in red, his hands, the room, her. Not even the tears streaming down his face seemed to make any dent in the stains.

The streets were growing quieter now, the rowdy crowds dispersing as the neared the edge of town. It had only been five minutes, but it was already obvious the boy had picked up the pace. He had been noticed. It took only a few more strides for the boy to begin throwing wary glances over his shoulder every few seconds. When journeying into such an undesirable area of town too, he couldn’t blame the kid. Part of him hoped he didn’t stay here and this was an attempt to shake Tony from his tail but a closer look at his more than slightly worn out clothes wasn’t giving him much hope. If it turned out they were soulmates, Tony would encourage him to move somewhere safer, somewhere he could protect him. It clearly wasn’t safe here. He pressed his lips together for a moment.

“Hey kid! Wait up!” He called out.

It took him a long time before he stood back up and stripped his unsalvageable shirt from his body. He felt like a weight had been laid upon him and he wanted to do nothing more than to curl up in some sheets and forget about everything. But he had made a mistake, so he was going to fix it. The more he thought about it, the more he compared it to working on a car or a project of his. There’s always a solution to those too, it just might take a while to reach it. First, he headed to the bathroom. He could deal with the trail of stains when he was figuring out the rest of the carpet. He began to wash his hands, slowly, methodically, cleaning them from every last particle of dirt he could find. He then splashed some cold water onto his face, taking a moment to simply breath, in and out. When he looked back up and into the bathroom mirror he was surprised by how little had changed. He didn’t look any different at all really. His hair was tangled, darkened in spots, understandably, but overall, he looked, fine? He looked like himself. His beard needed tightening up a bit and his hair line was escaping him more rapidly than he’d like to admit but he looked almost like he had this morning leaving for work. How he felt was another matter entirely however. This morning felt like eons ago already. Every time his mind drifted to the body lying just outside that shut door, he felt bile rise in his throat.

He squeezed his eyes shut. No. No more tears. He didn’t have time for tears. Tears could come later.

He let out a shaky breath when he felt composed enough to look back into the mirror. His eyes had changed too. The seemed darker now. Colder. He shook his head quickly and began splashing more water onto his face. That was ridiculous.

He wasn’t sure at which point in the screaming match that her conquest had left exactly but he couldn’t find himself to care, as long as he was gone. It was better that way. He wasn’t sure how he’d react if he saw him again. Although, going by the bedroom, he could make the safe guess that it wouldn’t be pretty. The bastard had stolen his one chance at happiness, his one chance at love. He had taken it without thought, he had taken her. His hands tightend against the porcelain sink. Was he even the first? Or was her love stolen long before? Did she ever love him? She couldn’t have, not really. His teeth began to grind against one another. Was the entire thing a lie? Each kiss, every touch, every word meant nothing now.

His fist had hit the glass before his brain had even a slight chance of catching up.

God, he was going to be sick.

He spent the next ten minutes picking out glass from between his knuckles. At the very least it had given him a chance to calm down. He felt like the whole ordeal should’ve hurt more than it had. He watched as his own blood began to mingle with hers as It swirled down into the drain as he rinsed his hands for a second time. It was while he was bandaging himself up that he began to plan things out. Maybe everyone was right, he mused. Maybe he should’ve waited for his soulmate after all. But he had waited years before even meeting Pepper, was he really supposed to waste his life away waiting for someone who might just never show up? He’s not some Princess waiting for Prince Charming to show up and fix all his problems. Besides, life didn’t work like that, it wasn’t that ideal. At least not for Tony. Then again, he thought, who said he had to wait? 

The kid had almost tripped up over the sound of his voice before he finally stopped in the centre of the street. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting him to have spoken to him. His arms fell stiffly to his sides, in some forced attempt at casualness. His fists were clenched however, one holding what appeared to be a set if keys. Tony couldn’t help but smile, his boy knew how to protect himself. Good.

He made sure to keep his smile friendly as the boy turned around, but when Tony stepped forward, the boy took his own pensive step back.

“What do you want?” The boy called out, chin jutting out ever so slightly.

He was shaking slightly. He lifted his own hands from his pockets and raised them into the air in mock surrender. The fact he had to let go of the knife in his pocket to do so though did well to unsettle him.

“Hey, hey, sorry if I startled you kid,” he says, making a pointed glance towards the makeshift weapon he was holding.

The boy glanced down to where Tony’s gaze settled, a blush resting on his cheeks. But he seemed to bolster himself before he looked back up at Tony, a look of determination settling on his features. It seemed he was going to take a bit of convincing.

“There was a guy,” he said, “a few blocks back, a real shady type, black hoodie, hunched shoulders the works,” he continues, keeping his gaze pinned on the kids, “He looked like he was following you. I wanted to make sure you were going to get home safe is all,” he throws a quick glance to the empty street behind him, for show more than anything, the place was dead, “I think he’s gone now but I’m not sure.”

The boy remained wary, his eyes still uncertain but now darting between Tony and the darkness behind him.

“Thanks,” he called out, voice quivering ever so slightly, “But I don’t need your help.”

And just like that, he had turned away once more, picking up at the same brisk pace he had left off he. He even made a show of pulling his hood up and over his face. Fuck. There was no hiding now, no staying in the shadows, and what if it really was him? What if this was the one and he had let it slip through his fingers because he got a little too eager? Fuck, fuck, fuck. He ran his fingers through his hair, exasperated. The boy had even gone as far as to stop the precarious glances over his shoulder. He probably assumed Tony would leave him alone now.

Usually, a few pre-paid drinks and a charming enough smile got the women swooning over him. He wasn’t used to having to chase after what he wanted. But the boy was wary for his age, and given the area he seemed to live in, he didn’t exactly blame him. He had to catch up to him, he had to talk to him, he couldn’t let this slip through his fingers.

Catching up was easier than expected, he assumed it was because of the height difference and his longer strides. Within a few seconds he was already behind him, giving the kid little chance to react as he settled a hand on his shoulder. The boy flinched, spinning around, a new, desperate look gracing his features.

“I told you to leave me alone!”

Tony winced, this wasn’t supposed to be an argument, “Look kid-“

“Get off of me you fuck!”

“Kid just listen-“

“Leave. Me. Alone,” he spits, glaring up at him.

The boy himself was pretty but his eyes, they were gorgeous. Warm and inviting, even when they were filled with so much anger.

“Please, just-“

“Take the hint old man, I don’t need your help.”

Tony had to admit, that one stung a bit.

“I just want to check-“

“Go away!”

The boy was trashing around by this point in his grip, pulling at the tight hold Tony had on his jumper. He assumed his keys had been lost somewhere in the struggle. The boy had a lot of will but he clearly needed to work on actually defending himself. But Tony wasn’t going to look that current gift horse in the mouth just yet.

“Let me just explain-“

“Let me fucking go!”

He wanted to wait. He wanted to make sure he was in a safer and more secluded spot than this but he couldn’t. Not now. The boy was making too much noise. He realised this as soon as his hand had drifted back to the comfort of the blade in his pocket.

“Please,” he tried to plead but the boy continued to fight against him.

There was nothing her could do. He shot a panicked glance up and down the abandoned steet. He boys cries bounced off the walls of the buildings. He had to shut up. His hands became clammy as he gripped even tighter onto both the boy and the weapon. He could feel his breathing quicken. He had to fix this. He had to make this better.

He pushed the boy up against the rough-cast wall behind them both. He flinched at the impact. The knife was out immediately by sheer muscle memory and Tony took one final look into those lovely brown eyes. Those now scared brown eyes. And he plunged it into his gut.

Tony had always though his soulmate would understand when he found them. It was obvious he wasn’t actually trying to kill them. He didn’t want to kill the ones before them either. But this was the quickest way to check that they were the one, he had to be sure. After all, what if he made a mistake? What if they turned out like Pepper? What if they hurt him? He didn’t think he could take it again. He had to protect himself. He knew his soulmate would understand once he explained it. He had to.

The knife never entered his stomach. The blade sat, barely touching the skin that it should now be imbedded inside. No matter how hard he pushed on, it remained, hovering over the boy. He stared at it, a fiendish glee over taking him as he laughed. He laughed like he hadn’t in a long time. He was in complete disbelief, the smile that settled over his face matching perfectly.

He looked towards the boy again, towards his soulmate, to find him staring down at the blade in clear shock. Yet he still trembled, was he still scared? The boy glanced up at the dishevelled, manic man before him, before immediately looking down again in horror. He opened his mouth, only slightly, as if to speak, yet only a small squeak of disbelief escaped him.

Tony took his chance, immediately leaning down and capturing the boys lips in his own. He had finally found him, his soulmate, his one true love, god, he was ecstatic. He couldn’t believe it. He leaned deeper into the kiss. He was so pretty too, those messy brown locks so perfectly framing that beautiful face of his. He kissed him like he had never kissed Pepper, he kissed him like his life depended on it, and in some ways, it did. This is what he was made for, he was made to look after this boy, to keep him safe, to keep him happy, forever if he let him. He smiled against the boy, for once in his life, truly happy.

There was a twist of pain in his gut. He gasped, reeling back. The boy was crying, eyes red and puffy. He looked terrified. But he wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at his chest. A quick glance down revealed the handle of his own blade, protruding from his abdomen. With one had on the wall, by the boys head, he let the other wander to the knife. Touching it sent a wave of pain through his stomach and he squeezed his eyes shut. No wonder the kid was petrified. But there was something else behind those eyes. Tony didn’t want to admit to himself that it was probably relief.

He wrenched the blade from his stomach and let it clatter to the ground. That was a lot of blood.

The boy stumbled out from between him and the wall, his breaths shaky and uneven. He had never seen anyone so panicked, not even Pepper before he had-. The tears were still going steady as he left the mans space. He let him go. He could hear him faintly repeating oh my god under his breath few times as he fell further backwards.  
He turned and fell against the wall where the boy had just stood. He let out another laugh. It quickly became a choked-out cough as he felt something rise in his throat. He tried to spit whatever it was out in the side walk, only to be shocked with the deep red that had escaped. The boys figure was even further now. He was looking at him like he was an untamed animal without a cage. He hated it.

He bit down on his lip, trying to stop the groan of pain that wanted to escape him. So this was it, huh? He could feel the tips of his finger tips becoming far number than they had from the cold. He sunk to the ground and watched as the boy turned and began running away from his bloodied self. They were thunderous against the silence the street had returned to. He had never heard of an unrequited soulmate before. But of course, that was his luck. To be the only sorry bastard on this planet who was truly unlovable. Maybe it was better he was dead.

He scrunched his eyes shut, trying to ignore the deep ache within him. The boy had gone far enough that he could no longer here him. He wondered what poor sod would find him here. He wondered if they would find Pepper. He wondered if they would find any of them. Trace the killing spree to Tony Stark, the man no one would have possibly begun to expect. All he had wanted was happiness. He coughed again. The blood had begun to seep through the fingers pressed so tightly against the wound. He wasn’t really sure why he was trying to hold on any longer. It wasn’t much use.

His thoughts grew fuzzy. He was sure that if his eyes were open, his vision would have become similarly blurred. He frowned as he felt his grip grow weaker and his skin grow colder. He just hoped that wherever the hell it was he ended up, it was far away from the bitch that had started all this shit in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, all feedback is appreciated :)
> 
> Credit to Dodie for the song title of course.


End file.
